As someone who is diligently trying to understand the role(s) of a peace-builder & what Jesus meant when he said, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God,” I find myself asking these questions:
Why does peacemaking matter?
What exactly is the role of a peacemaker?
What is peacemaking seeking to achieve? How do we know when we have achieved it?
I will be personally exploring these questions over the next couple of months but first, let me share my own personal experience & thoughts of why this topic on peacebuilding became the forefront in my work living overseas in the Middle East. It began before October 7th 2024. For me, it began in 2021 right before I was moving to Baghdad, Iraq…
However, you the reader might be asking me, “But Savannah, how does your story of you being in 3rd grade from your prior post (Part I) relate to this? What was your point in sharing that story?”
Ahhhhhh Yes! Thank you for reminding me dear reader! Yes, before I take you to Baghdad, Iraq, I invite you, the reader, to imagine with me…
Have you ever had a similar experience or perhaps tragically, worse than this? I shared my story partly to invoke something that many of us Americans can relate to: bullying. I also shared this story because of what I will share later in this blog.
Most of us have experienced bullying first hand or have witnessed it happen to someone else. Or perhaps you are a parent in which you had to see your child being bullied at school & had to navigate this with the school, the bully, and bully’s family. I think we can confidently & unanimously agree that bullying has been & continues to be a systemic problem in our society especially with the introduction of the social media age. According to the National Bullying Prevention Center (https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/stats.asp):
“One out of every five (20.2%) students report being bullied. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019 )
41% of students who reported being bullied at school indicated that they think the bullying would happen again. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019 )
Of those students who reported being bullied, 13% were made fun of, called names, or insulted; 13% were the subject of rumors; 5% were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on; and 5% were excluded from activities on purpose. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
A slightly higher portion of female than of male students report being bullied at school (24% vs. 17%). (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
46% of bullied students report notifying an adult at school about the incident. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
The reasons for being bullied reported most often by students include physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, sexual orientation. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)”
What happens when the bulling does not stop & the child or teenager is unable to see hope and has internalized the words of their bully? Along with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, & a myriad of other mental health conditions that can reach into their adulthood, according to the Monique Burr Foundation for Children website, tragically there is a high prevalence of suicide (https://mbfpreventioneducation.org/examination-of-bullying-and-cyberbullying/):
“Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.
A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying.
10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above.
According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying.”
From my personal experience, what makes the bullying intolerable is when it does not stop & there seems to be no solution; no end in sight. What also makes it anguishing is when there are bystanders who see what is happening & do not speak up but allow it to happen. What is the result of this? The human phenomena of “normalization.” When you constantly see an injustice or crime happening before your eyes, it becomes normalized. A lack of response by the bystander is a response (although internally the bystander might disagree & feel guilty), it communicates to the perpetrator & the sufferer that the actions of the perpetrator against the sufferer are acceptable.
I was warned of this phenomena by my counselor when living in another culture: the normalization of hearing bombs & missiles; the normalization of hearing gun shots; the normalization of seeing people being harassed or killed in the streets. I remember seeing a video a local friend sent me of a man nonchalantly walking in the streets while gunfire was going off. It did not even phase him. It was so commonplace that it became “normal.”
What happened when I did not share what was happening to me because of shame & fear? What happened when other children saw this happening to me but did not say anything? I mentally & emotionally broke. I could not take it anymore. I did not even know what I was doing when I lashed out in my screaming. It was like my body separated from my mind.
Tragically, many of you have experienced much worse than my story: spousal or partner abuse, rape, human trafficking, incessant bullying, verbal & psychological abuse, neglect, etc. I have never experienced these. Therefore, I will never begin to claim to know how you feel. What I have learned from others who have experienced these horrific abuses is to truly listen, grieve with them, & hear their stories of what they have had to overcome & continue to overcome on a daily basis.
As a nurse who worked in the Emergency Department, listening to women sharing some of their stories of being trafficked, I was dumbfounded how these women & young girls could experience such atrocities in neighborhoods that I thought were safe - same neighborhoods that I walked through by myself several times. I was shocked how different our experiences had been even living in the same city. All of this was happening in nearby neighborhoods or neighborhoods that were deemed “one of the safest.”
So here’s my question: Are these neighborhoods safe? Does human trafficking happen in these neighborhoods? According to me before I met these women, I would say “Absolutely these neighborhoods are safe & trafficking would not be present here.” According to these women, “These neighborhoods are some of the unsafest & trafficking does exist here.” If an outside person were visiting our city & these women & myself were sitting down with this person & he or she asked, “Are these neighborhoods safe?” We would each answer based on our experiences. So which story is true? My story or theirs? Which story will this outside person believe more? I would argue one huge factor depends on this person’s experience as well. If this person’s experience has been similar to mine, he or she may be unable to comprehend that such horrific acts could be done in these neighborhoods that on the surface appear very safe. However, if this person has experienced what these women have experienced or seen it firsthand he or she will fully believe & be able to comprehend that yes, these atrocities can & do happen in safe-appearing neighborhoods. How we see the world & understand what is possible or impossible that can or cannot happen in the world is highly dependent on what we have personally experienced and/or witnessed.
I would also ask the question, “Safe for who?” While trafficking has been shown that it can happen to anyone at anytime & in any place, there are factors that make some more “vulnerable” to trafficking. For certain people, these neighborhoods are “safe.” They are not the default targets that traffickers look for. For others, such as runaway youth, immigrants, or being female, they are not “safe” in these neighborhoods.
In regards to racial disparities & safety, I had some Asian-American friends in college who told me they did not feel safe going to the Southern States because of experiences of violent racism towards them. While I on the other hand, would feel safe because I have not experienced racism. And I would most likely be safe in the Southern States because of my skin color.
Hence my first personal discovery in peace-building: Be aware of what I have & have not experienced before seeking to enter into someone else’s suffering.
Living overseas I had to navigate living in another culture in which people see the world so differently from myself. Since I am the guest in their country & culture, it is my responsibility to enter into their culture & seek how to understand their worldview. This benefits me greatly so that I can communicate effectively to get around & complete daily tasks, build deeper friendships, live more healthily for my own well-being, not feel so foreign, & be a representative of Jesus’ love as he did for us by entering into our cultures & living among the people.
A couple of local friends had the courage recently to open up to me about how they feel & how other Arabs might feel about foreigners who come to live in their cultures. Unfortunately, most of their stories of foreigners living among them mimic more of Western colonialism : ethnic power (where the white skin is automatically the better race & thus more privileged in society); hierarchy of cultures where Western culture is all-around best & most sophisticated; & a lack of general humility to truly listen & learn from their Arab neighbors.
I remember a handful of times where I would instruct these two local friends what they should do in regards to a problem they were facing. They both looked at me gracefully but at the same time frustrated that I was not understanding their situation & how limited they were in solving it. They said, “Savannah, that’s not possible for us to do. We don’t have that in our culture. We don’t have those systems & laws that you do.” In my genuine sincerity, I thought I understood even after living here for 5 years. But it was a reminder that I still do not understand more than I thought. I have come to the conclusion that I will be a perpetual learner while living here in the Middle East because naturally, I see the world so differently based on my culture, my personal experiences, & my privileges in society that others do not have. My false assumption was that everyone’s experience has been the same as my own.
Another conversation I had recently with a local friend was regarding skin color. In her culture as in American culture (& really ALL cultures), white skin is always more desirable & seen as the most beautiful. Girls with whiter skin are also “worth” more in their dowries when given in marriage. They are also given more opportunities in jobs, leadership positions, education, & have more options in marriages. Therefore, girls & women (and men too) with darker skin are constantly being insulted, told they are worth less, & experience less opportunities in life. As a result, women will intentionally seek to bleach their skin or use make-up to make their skin whiter.
One day, I asked my friend, “Show me a picture of a handsome Arab man & a beautiful Arab woman in your culture.” She searched on the internet & found pictures of an Arab man & Arab woman with white skin & lighter eyes. I personally did not “see” this in their culture or even in my own culture until I moved here & experienced it first-hand so blatantly. I, the White American, am favored more than my local friends with darker skin. I get the compliments of how “beautiful” & how desirable I am to a man. If I were hired in their workforce, I would be paid top dollar, more than a local for the same job because I have the whiter skin & the American blue passport. My friend who is a Palestinian is not allowed to return to her home in the West Bank or even visit. However as an American, I can easily enter their land that I have absolutely no entitlement to.
I suddenly “saw” new things about my role in society at large: I am the more privileged & favored one simply by my skin color & nationality. I never had to think about my skin color. But now I did. Now I had to start thinking about how my skin color is placing me in hierarchical roles in society that supports injustices of those with non-white or darker skin colors (in every culture I enter into). These experiences have also opened my eyes to my life back in America. It took me living in another culture to truly “see” it. I “knew” about it while living in America. It is not that I did not “know.” But I did not truly “see” it.
Tragically, many of you have & continue to experience systemic injustices & oppression - systemic racial-injustices to your people group (Black communities, Asian communities, Native-American communities, Jewish communities, Muslim & Arab communities, etc.). I experience a world quite the opposite from your own. Again, what I have learned from my local Arab friends here in the Middle East is to listen to those of you who experience these daily, unending, normalized injustices that you have to live with. I just want to say to you, “I hear your screams for help.”
I started asking myself these questions when I moved to Iraq, “What does it mean to follow Jesus as one who has the societal privileges & status that I do? What does this require of me? What is the “cost” of me following him?” I think of how Jesus had every opportunity to use his power as God to retaliate; to redeem himself from suffering & death on the cross; to choose to be one of the leaders in the Roman Empire. But he didn’t. He chose to become a brown-skinned, Palestinian Jew, son of a humble carpenter. He chose not to use his power for his own status or privilege in their society. Rather, he surrendered himself of these privileges in order to identify & live with those who were being oppressed - the Jews living under the oppressive Roman Empire.
Thus, my second personal discovery in peace-building: Be aware of the role & status that I have been automatically placed in society simply because of either my nationality (“go free card” blue American passport) and skin color before entering into someone else’s suffering. And also be aware of which role I am playing into in any given situation: the oppressor, oppressed, or the bystander.
I would like to bring about a connection point of my story to what the people of Gaza are horrifically experiencing.
One day, I was imagining what it might be like for the people who have lived in Gaza their whole lives. I was imagining what it might have been like to have their “bully” - the Israeli government & military constantly oppressing them each & every day without an end in sight. I was imagining how it was only becoming worse - a wall being built in which 25 million people are forced to live within a 25 mile piece of land. The water, electricity, & food supply greatly limited & the salty drinking water. I was imagining bombs being dropped, not knowing where they would be dropped; who would be killed; who would be injured. I was imagining the people of Gaza being arrested for crimes they did not do & were subjected to horrendous torture. I was imagining children (which make up most of the population of Gaza) experiencing several wars, & becoming orphans overnight. I was imagining how horrific & hopeless their realities have become when whole families are saying, “Let’s stay together so we can die together. It would be worse if one of us survived this & had to live this hell without being together.” This is the world that they know. This is their reality. I cannot comprehend it.
I was imagining how & why the people of Gaza would hate Israelis; how they would be utterly livid & that they would do anything for it to just stop. To be honest, I would also hate Israelis & be outraged if I were in their shoes. I too would seek to do anything, ANYTHING to make it stop especially to protect my family, friends, & my whole people group from being annihilated. Although it would not be my first choice to support Hamas, but if they were that other school bully at least saying something against the bigger & stronger bully then I would naturally seek their favor in order to survive physically & mentally. At least they are doing something. I/us, the West, with the power to stop the bullying by stopping the sending of money & weapons that fuels the bully; the bystanders who remain silent & complicit. I/we, the West, have not listened to the screams of the people of Gaza. I was imagining what I would do if I were in their shoes. Then I remembered my story that does not even compare to their suffering, but it is the only story I have in which I can subjectively imagine what it could be like for them since I can’t fully imagine theirs. For me, imagining my story was just a starting point. A starting point of empathy & compassion.
Hence my third personal discovery in peace-building: Imagining what it might be like in someone else’s shoes. I cannot enter in as a peace-builder unless I attempt to imagine & nurture empathy for those I am seeking to enter into their suffering.
How did healing, forgiveness & reconciliation happen for me towards my bullies? I was a believer in Jesus in 3rd grade & still am. I knew that retaliation was bad & not how Christians should react. However, I still struggled with feelings of hate, anger, & resentment; replaying in my mind what I would have said to that girl who told me so many mean things. It was not until college that I truly forgave them. It took both the work of Jesus AND my friends in my faith community at that time that truly listened to me & heard my stories & my pain. They validated my pain & affirmed that God did not approve of what happened to me as something that I deserved. They made me feel heard so that I felt that God was also hearing me. As a child, a lie that I believed & other Christian children can believe is that God wanted that to happen to them because they deserved it from doing something bad. As a result, these lies can continue into adulthood & become the lens by which we see any type of trauma or injustice in the world.
It takes the community of God to truly listen to & grieve with the ones suffering in order to be agents of healing & reconciliation for them so that one day they can truly forgive the abuser. The woman being raped by the raper is certainly not going to love or forgive during or shortly thereafter the act of horrific violation against her body. I would never tell this woman, “You just need to forgive him & next time, don’t resist him.” This is absolutely absurd & horrifying.
Or perhaps I tell my Palestinian Christian friends who have been living in the West Bank their whole lives & have endured oppression that I have not experienced, “You just need to forgive Israelis & not resist them.” My Palestinian Christian friends are going to look at me & ask, “Have you experienced this & done this what you are asking us to do, Savannah?” Forgiveness is the goal that sets the oppressed free from hate of the oppressor. However, depending on the severity & duration of the abuse & oppression, sincere & true forgiveness takes time. My statement to my Palestinian Christian friends reveals is that I have the privilege to forgive so easily & expect others to do so because of the rather safe world I have lived in. Would I so easily forgive & allow another country to come into my community, kick me out of my house while watching my whole community being displaced & told to go live somewhere else or else face repercussions?
Imagine a foreign country invading America & telling us to leave our homes & give up our lands to them because God told them that this was their land now and if you do not surrender up your homes & land then you are going against God. Imagine nightly raids by their soldiers coming into our homes to interrogate; searching our things; taunting us; & imprisoning our family members even our children for crimes they have not committed. Imagine our family & friends being horrifically tortured in prisons. Imagine them declaring the American flag is now illegal & any American custom is now prohibited. Imagine frequent beatings & killings by their soldiers as “acts of defence” from our people & children who are throwing stones at them to tell them to leave. Imagine them setting up checkpoints that we have to cross through every day & scan a card so that they can keep track of our whereabouts. Imagine daily harassments by these soldiers at these checkpoints & people traveling from foreign lands to occupy & take over our country (Watch the documentaries Israelim - https://www.israelismfilm.com/; Where the Olive Trees Weep - https://whereolivetreesweep.com/ With God on Our Side -
Would we as Americans & especially us Christian Americans do what we are telling our Palestinian Christian brothers & sisters to do? I sure hope so with all my heart. But honestly, I truly to not know for sure. I am not a better, stronger Christian than they are. If they are unwilling to give up their land & homes because of a decision made for them by outside powers, then I most likely would do the same.
What about my role in this situation? I am coming from the country that is supplying the power of their bully. I have never been in a situation where I had to show such forgiveness not just for an injustice done to myself & my family but my whole country - giving up our homes, culture, land, customs, and basic rights to another foreign power & then moving to a foreign country & attempting to start a completely new life. I cannot comprehend what this feels like but I can imagine it would feel incredibly unjust & a violation on so many levels; most importantly, a violation of our humanity, dignity, & equality created in the image of God.
A friend of mine who is a believer in Jesus told me recently (who has experienced horrific abuse), “Healing from trauma, especially any form of violent (verbal, physical, sexual & psychological), on-going oppression that has become systemic & normalized requires a lot of time & special people to come alongside of them to grieve with them, listen, validate, & stand with them in solidarity which will allow them to move forward towards healing & forgiveness.” Jesus has shown us the way & makes it possible - a life of forgiveness, healing & restoration & he has provided his Temple, the Church to be agents along the way of his healing & restoring in people’s lives.
Thus, my fourth personal discovery in peace-building: Jesus does the transformation work in both the oppressed & oppressor that we as humans cannot do. AND their long-term, growing & sustaining process of healing, forgiveness, & reconciliation depends on the ex-bystanders, ex-oppressors, & ex-oppressed in the community of God to come alongside of them & be agents of Jesus’ work that he modeled for us. To truly know Jesus means to do what he did & seek to live out his Kingdom that he showed us was so different from our earthly kingdoms - to truly be “re-born” & “baptized” is the new life Jesus calls us to “see” & live out. That’s why he & his followers were originally called, “The Way” - a new way of life that salvation made a way for.
Tragically, even within Christian communities, women have been told to stay in their abusive marriages even after the spouse has shown no effort to change or stop the abuse. Their divorce from their husbands has been the greater sin than the abuse done to them which is so dangerous to the minds & souls of abused women & any one being abused for that matter.
I have been studying the Sermon on the Mount in more depth especially in regards to when Jesus says we are to “love & not resist our enemies.” What did Jesus mean & not mean by these statements? What about people who are in abusive relationships? Does this mean we are to tell them to continue in these relationships? What about people groups who are being systemically oppressed to the point of it being normalized? What is my role as the bystander & as the one who has the power to help stop the abuse and/or oppression? Should I sit passively & wait for something to happen? If my friend is telling me her husband is abusing her, do I tell her “Love & do not resist him” and hope that this will make him stop? I believe in Jesus’ words & they are true. But I do not think we always have the right interpretation. The following commentary on this Scripture passage is from the Bible Project which I personally found incredibly insightful & redeeming:
“In Jesus’ day, hitting a person on the cheek was a forceful insult, but it was not considered a violent assault. Here, Jesus is specifying a strike on the right cheek, which implies a back-handed slap. Striking someone with the back of the hand (3) could demand a doubled fine because it was ‘the severest public affront to a person’s dignity.’(4)
But Jesus is not suggesting that his followers should stand around and take abuse. First, turning the left cheek was a bold rejection of the insult itself. Second, it challenged the aggressor to repeat the offense, while requiring that they now strike with the palm of their hand, something done not to a lesser but to an equal. In other words, turning the other cheek strongly declares that the opposer holds no power for condescending shame because the victim’s honor is not dependent on human approval—it comes from somewhere else. (5) This kind of action reshapes the relationship, pushing the adversary to either back down or to treat them as an equal.
As another example of what it looks like to not resist-in-kind an evildoer, Jesus says, ‘If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.’ (6) He’s teaching people to resist harmful greed with creative generosity.
In this case, a greedy person crushes a poor person with an unjust lawsuit and demands their inner garment as collateral. Hebrew Bible law does allow Israelites to also use someone’s outer garment, or coat, as collateral for a loan, but the coat must be returned by nightfall because the person likely needs it for warmth. (7) To voluntarily give up the coat would be exceedingly generous. Jesus is teaching a way of life that trusts in the power of a generous response and does not repay greed with greed.
Even more, some interpreters understand Jesus’ instruction to mean that one who gives both their shirt and coat would become completely disrobed, which is ‘an intolerable dishonor in Palestinian Jewish society.’ (8) Whether or not Jesus implies that they should appear naked, someone who gives up their coat (and shirt) is likely giving up their main defense against the cold and some level of social status. They are in an extremely vulnerable position. This obvious vulnerability forces an opponent to publicly confront his callous greed in literally taking the clothes off the other person’s back. (9) And that person’s radical generosity would present a striking contrast against their opponent’s tight-fisted grasping.
Jesus himself demonstrates for his followers how to turn the other cheek. At certain times when his opponents seek to destroy him, he chooses to withdraw, slipping from their grasp. He wisely discerns when waiting is better than immediately addressing a threat.
At other times, he meets his opponents face-to-face with creative generosity. In the ultimate declaration of turning the other cheek, Jesus allows his enemies to falsely accuse, arrest, and convict him before putting him through intense public humiliation and brutal murder on a Roman cross. As it’s all happening, Jesus turns his other cheek to those who strike him, offers up his clothing, and carries his cross the extra mile. (21) He is not passive or unwilling; he’s not a powerless victim. With tremendous power, he willfully accepts his opponents’ malicious treatment because he knows they have no ability to ultimately take either his honor or his life.
Jesus actively gives his life; he does not retaliate or return any kind of harm for the harm being done to him. He loves his enemies to the end, praying for their forgiveness with his dying breath. (22) (https://bibleproject.com/playlists/retaliation-and-creative-nonviolence/).”
Lastly, my fifth personal discovery in peace-building: The work of peacemaking & justice is an act of worship & connection with Jesus & thus, is the transformative work of the Gospel at play. It requires a life-style of becoming a perpetual learner of Scripture: studying, meditating, asking questions, wrestling, re-assessing prior interpretations, changing things in my life where I need to change, & continuing to nurture my relationship & connection with Jesus. This also requires becoming a life-long learner of people’s realities different from my own. The work of the Gospel always brings about transformation both individually & collectively for the oppressor, oppressed, & the bystander & therefore speaks & intersects directly into any of these realities. The Gospel is relevant, inclusive, & transformative in any & every situation & for every person. The Gospel speaks not only into the future but speaks into the here & now.
franklynjost@gmail.com
Savannah, this is really heavy, helpful, and challenging. Thank you for thinking so deeply and for giving such clear and helpful information. Your ministry is definitely for us!